Lily of Death Valley

We have all undoubtedly heard our parents say that one day we would get paid back for being ornery. I hope that's what you've heard anyway, if not that just makes the way I acted as a kid even more worse then I thought. Anyway... Today I'm going to give you a few stories of what being paid back in full looks like. Her name is Lily...

The first warning signs of Lily's coming doom were in the womb. When my wife was pregnant with our second daughter she literally threw up for 24 hours straight. This was on top of her usual morning sickness. Lily's birth was the most painful for my wife, she broke my wife's tail bone on the way out as a "thanks for the stay!" The next few days she was with us were wonderful, in hindsight it was a picture into her personality. This little girl is a complete 50/50 of cute and monster! Don't get me wrong, I love my little monster, and her cuteness tends to erase the carnage she can wreak.
We were blessed with Jack and Anna who are amazing sleepers. Their bedtime is from 8pm-8am and they took naps from 1pm-4pm. If you have children you know how amazing this is. Lily on the other hand thinks schedules and nap times are her play thing. The night Lily came home was the worst night (in an annoying sense) that this family has ever known. As I mentioned in Plague of Froggy, Lily's scream is the loudest most annoying scream I have ever heard. She can stop an entire store of customers in their tracks when she wants to, and she has. That was the scream that we dealt with all night that first night. She has not disappointed in being the most infamous of our four as she has grown up. These are some quick stories of her recent doings:

Lily wanted to "hold" her baby brother Max. She asked her mother to "Ahh" Max, because when children hold babies everyone goes "Ahh!" My wife allowing for her request held Max as she let Lily "hold" him, but Lily was unhappy because he was touching HER chair.

As part of the kids lunches my wife included crackers. When Lily ran out of crackers she called my wife a "Mother F*****" to our complete and utter shock. In reality she was saying "another cracker" but the damage was done, our shocked faces had sealed the deal and she deemed it funny. We now dread the day they serve the kids crackers at church for snack.

She had a stint where she would scream in the middle of the night and when we would enter the room she would cry out "Doggy! Where Doggy?!" Doggy is the equivalent of Froggy in Lily's eyes (my children aren't very original with naming their stuffed animals) As weary eyed parents we would search the room looking for where she had thrown the stuffed dog only to be to hear "Doggy!" in the cheeriest voice. When we look up there is the dog sitting right beside the little girl. Stuffed animals have it out for me, I can tell by there beady little plastic eyes.

I have many more stories of Lily, physical violence is her specialty, but I will be saving those for her upcoming birthday which is February 8th.  She will be turning 2. Please pray for my family, all condolences are appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! Lovin Lily from afar! And definitely sending condolences! And if it is any consolation, just remember, she will get paid back for all this someday! Just keep all these pics and stories handy for when she complains to you about how ornery your grand kids are being!