Some things you should keep to yourself and hope that no one ever finds out. There is a filter on most of us, some people call it a conscience, others refer to as common sense. Unfortunately, I really have neither so all my stories are up for game.
The four and a half short years I've had children one of the predominate lessons I have been learning is that what goes around comes around. What I mean by this is all those times I felt embarrassed by my parents was for good reason, it was because I embarrassed the life out of them as a child. My devastation as my mother showed girlfriends baby photos, or my dad telling ill-timed revealing stories in my teenage and college years was payback pure and simple.
As a parent I could break this horrible chain, but as this is a blog about my children and what they do you can probably guess that isn't going to happen. For now however I am on the receiving end of being red-in-the-face and will be for quite some time.
We were at our local mall, the same from the tea story, just trying to get out of the house on a weekend night. Taking the kids to the mall can be a challenge, two of our children are potty graduates, and two of the children have a fear of elevators. I often forget about the elevator fears because they don't let you know it until the doors close and the thing starts moving. So these are some of the challenges we face on an outing like this. Jack had pronounced it was potty time, this was fortunate because I had to go too. With a family of six efficiency is everything!
I took Jack into the restroom and took him into a stall. With flawless execution the boy performed admirably. With a flush he was done, I guided him to the front of the stall and I proceeded to take care of my business. All was going well until to my left I see the boys head leap out of nowhere and say "Oh daddy! Is that your big one?" Did I mention we were at Macy's? At Macy's a week before Christmas? The restroom was packed, and by my son's devilish grin I think he was very aware of what he was doing. It could of been worse, he could of asked if that was my small one.
After much praise about what a good job I had done going potty and how he loved me very much we washed our hands, he excited to do so, me not looking up.
My wife seeing the expression on my face immediately cracked up when we exited the restroom. After I told her what transpired she spent the next hour pointing and laughing at me until she was informed she would be taking Jack potty from now on. Of course that hasn't been the case, but luckily we've had no incidents since. I've since invested a large chunk of money into portable partitions, for daddy's potty privacy.

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