Lily and Abel... I mean Jack

Lily's Birthday is upon us... The Seal of the Scroll of the Two Year Old has been broken... All Beware!! Yes it's that time, as stated in an earlier post, Lily our youngest daughter will be turning two this Wednesday. As promised I've saved some of her best stories for now. I hope that the parents of children invited to her birthday party will take these stories to heart and dress their children appropriately. By appropriate dress I mean hockey masks, shin guards, and SWAT gear. And now... TALES FROM THE LILY KEEPER...

With birthdays in mind the first story has to do with the last birthday party our kids attended. Lily is extremely possessive of anything. She even gets mad when things aren't used by the proper person as she sees it. For instance if she sees you with a blanket she has seen someone else use, it makes her furious. She often refers to Max, her baby brother, as HER baby. The night of the party there were about five other children there other than our own, one of which was about the same age as Lily (around 1 year 9 months). This very cute little girl saw Max and decided to try and play with him and was successful for about one minute. Lily had been in the other room and when she walked in she proceeded to tackle this little girl pushing her down and pulling the girls hair screaming "MY BABY!!!" Sadly we have not been invited back...

The next two stories have Lily's aggression sadly directed at Jack. I wish I could defend Lily and say that her older brother was taking advantage of his size and age to pick on Lily, but no, Lily was just plain mean. Jack and Lily were in Jack's room playing when we heard Jack let out a bloodcurdling scream. Jack came running out of his room holding his elbow. The thought occurred to me that he might have hit his funny bone for the first time. This was not the case however. As Lily innocently sauntered out of his room my wife removed the boy's hand covering his elbow to see a plain outline of his sister's teeth. Jack screamed "Lily ate me!!!" and Lily made a run for it. I don't know if it's true what they say about sharks, that once they taste human flesh they crave it, but I fear it's true for Lily. She's a bitter.

The last story of Lily's violence that I have for you is only a week old. Jack and Lily were once again in Jack's room (you would think he would learn by now) and he was reading a book to her. My wife was in the kitchen and she heard Jack say " and this is the letter W, Lily." Lily then proceeded to scream "NO NO NO!!!" and with the magnifying glass she had been playing with started hitting Jack over the head with it. My wife ran into the room as Jack was wailing to witness the second volley of "NO!!!"'s and pummeling with the magnifying glass.

In Lily's defense, this story is probably just genetics. When I was around her age I hit my grandmother in the back of the head with a meat tenderizer. Anyway...

Happy Birthday Lily! I hope being a two year old is as exciting as being one (but in a different way, I hope!).